DEC 26, 2018 2:10 PM PST

How does your childhood influence your relationships?

Whether you want to believe it or not, your childhood has a big impact on the way you see the world. One influence that it has particularly is in regards to how you interact in your adult relationships. This video discusses specifically romantic relationships – which it refers to as love styles. Love styles are defined here as our tendencies and inclinations of how we respond to our romantic partners. It's usually good to understand these love styles versus opting for something where an adult has a relationship with their child where one monitors their phone and text.

According to psychologists, there are five types of love styles. First, the pleaser, who often grows up in a household with an overly protective or angry and critical parent. Second, the victim, who often grows up in a chaotic home with angry or violent parents and tries to be compliant in order to fly under the radar. Third, the controller, who grows up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of protection so s/he has learned to toughen up and take care of themselves. Fourth, the vacillator, who grows up with an unpredictable parent and develop a fear of abandonment. And fifth, the avoider, who grows up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-sufficiency.

Do any of these childhoods trigger something in you? Watch the video to learn about how each of these types of childhoods can affect your adult romantic relationships.

About the Author
  • Kathryn is a curious world-traveller interested in the intersection between nature, culture, history, and people. She has worked for environmental education non-profits and is a Spanish/English interpreter.
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